Well hell, here I am with nothing to say… Tell me that ain’t unusual!
Let’s see… Oh yeah! I’ve got a shitload of stuff to say actually. OK, here it is.. Decided to walk over to ma’n Pa’s, talk ‘em out of somethin’ to eat and then get a ride home. The walk from here (the Liquor Store) to mom & dads would be the longest actual walk I’ve taken in 5 years… by far. (Five years ago I had two legs and a keen sense of balance and was in monstrous good shape.) Turns out it’s more of an obstacle course to a fake-legged, severely brain damaged feller with a very inhibited sense of balance.
I brought Alice, my trusty little girl friend and headed out. made it over there fairly well, sweatin’ like a stuck pig. Later on this evening I said something about this to Bart’s daughter, at LD’s and she said pigs don’t sweat. Is that true? I don’t know. Chances are high that I’ll continue to use that phrase one way or the other. Anyway, once I finally made it over there I removed my fancy XXXXX beaver cowboy hat (the hat was a mistake), so I wouldn’t ruin it with sweat. Grabbed the doorknob.. Locked! Yahoo!! I was, believe it or not, exhausted.
The feeling was precisely the same as the feeling I had when I took my first truly long distance bike ride. I rode north through Preston, to Strawberry Canyon and headed up towards Bear Lake. I had it in my head that Kim was gonna head out in an hour or so, catch up with me and we’d load up my bike, go eat and head home. I made it all the way through Strawberry Canyon over to Ovid (yep there’s a town named Ovid”) and when I got there I began to accept the possibility Kim wasn’t actually coming. Still, I felt pretty good so I turned around and headed back towards home. Made it back through the Canyon (full canyon, up one side and down the other). Back to the Bear River bottom and finally reached the hill back up out of the Bear River valley. HUGE hill. Steep, long, with demons waving pitchforks and fat old ladies screaming obscenities scattered along the several mile long, steep uphill stretch. I looked at that climb and the feeling was identical to the feelin’ I had today upon realizing that I had to make the treacherous walk back.. Makes me feel pretty manly ‘er somethin’. Turns out the bike ride might’ve been preparatory for todays walk. I made the ride, thinkin’.. no.. certain that I would die at any moment. I remembered the ride as I was makin’ the walk and figured, by God I’m gonna fuckin’ make it! I did. Then walked to LD’s for a grilled cheese and fries, fer good measure!.. Oh! Gotta remember to call Bart’s wife tomorrow. They’re gonna pose on Bart’s chopper for a picture for me, on Saturday.
He he.. Alice is exhausted.. One thing about only havin’ one leg… only one leg hurts.